So it’s now May 5th and I have HOPEFULLY handed in my dissertation. Hopefully, it went yesterday. (I write this the Sunday before and I’m MEGA stressed about it).
So yeah, that’s that done. 2 years of my life building up to this. I can’t lie. I haven’t been a great student. I’ve left things til last minute because I work better under a bit of pressure. I’ve been a stressy group member. I was a much better Year 1 student than Year 2. I don’t know what happened in Year 2, I think my whole “don’t try, don’t fail” attitude hit a bit harder and I’ve just spent this year internally stressed. I don’t think the modules helped either though. I think I do better with someone hounding me. With the pressure. This year was a lot more lax than last. I should have had much better self motivation to be fair. But hey ho. It’s almost over now. I have 1 more submission in and then that’s it, that’s me done with my degree.
That’s pretty terrifying.
Had you said to me 3 years ago that I would have a degree I would’ve said you were a complete liar. Me? A degree? No way.
But look at me now. I am almost there. I made it happen. No one made it happen for me. I made it happen. I ahd some incredible support throughout the process though. If I hadn’t had that, I don’t know that I would’ve got all the way through without going insane. But I did it, myself. I pushed myself. I motivated myself. I took myself off to Starbucks (either at Haymarket or Monument) and made myself read articles or write assignments. To say I’m proud is a slight exaggeration, but I’m pretty pleased. Come back to me after graduation and I’ll talk more about it. Right now I’m not sure it’s going to happen!
It’s not been easy doing a degree and working full time. I take my hat off to the people on my course who have worked full time, studied and been parents. I don’t know that I could do it. They are superheroes in my mind. I’ve developed a good sense of studying over the past 2 years though. I’ve found my weaknesses and worked with my strengths. I never would’ve guessed that I worked better under pressure, but here I stand 2 years later knowing that I do. I work better to a deadline. I’ve learned that I have opinions on things and will stand for them. That education absolutely is the thing I want to do and that I have a total passion for it. I don’t want to be a student forever. I want to be in front of kids. That being in front of the kids is the place I flourish. I don’t flourish being a student. I thrive for the knowledge that I gain hands-on. That’s how I learn and how I have been learning over the past 8 years. But being a student has helped me hone my skills.
I’ve learned SO much about education doing this degree. I knew NOTHING about FE or apprenticeships before I started my degree. I don’t think I was naive to the rest of the education world, but I certainly wasn’t in the know. I wouldn’t say I’m a font of knowledge now about education in all its forms but I’m certainly more educated and it has made me think about education as a whole, not just schooling. Being the only person on my course in primary was a challenge, no one else was fighting the same fight as me, but it opened my eyes to a whole other world and a whole other fight. I have such respect for all of the others on my course. They have become some of my best friends. We have grown, changed and challenged each other over the past 2 years. I will miss seeing them every Thursday, having inane and in depth conversations with them. I’ll miss learning about their section of education, about their struggles, about their lives. I’ll miss their questions about my life, my sector of education and my struggles.
I’ve grown, changed and learned a lot over the past 2 years. This isn’t the end of my status as a student. But this is almost the end of being an Education student. The next challenge is being a teacher training student. That’s a whole other barrel of thoughts. For another day.